thomas wesley stern was born in lenape, new jersey in 1841. he was educated by his grandfather in a two story school house on the chesapeake bay and served in the civil war as cavalry, snare drum player, and nurse. here he met walt whitman, who taught him how to write poetry.
he moved to the south in 1868 and lived in new orleans during reconstruction times and petitioned against northern mistreatment of our wounded southern brother and was blessed with an uncanny ability to talk down the Klan.
he disappeared during the dust bowl and wasn't heard from since. meanwhile volumes of geographical surveys, diaries, anatomy sketchbooks, and paintings have been found attributed to him, although the smithsonian denounces it. there is even a photograph of him with abraham lincoln and a cask of dry red wine.
he has since been reposed, turned back to the earth in west jackson, new jersey beneath a russian orthodox church. the band, thomas wesley stern, carries on his tradition and relates his story to the next generation.